Planning. Pouting. and REST.
The past few days have been a lot of everything. Sadness, excitement, anticipation, turned frustration and at some moments anger. There was a bit of disappointment and yes even guilt and the horrible feeling of failure. I have been over tired and completely stressed. I have sat, walked, cried, screamed and pouted. And around 11:45 pm I did the one thing that could have changed every circumstance prior to that moment, I RESTED. I ceased trying, figuring out, getting it done, making it happen and just breathed and rested in the one thing I know for sure, God is in control. It was my hearts desire to support one of my, if not my dearest friend and Pastor this weekend but the plan began to fall apart on Thursday, but I was sure that I could fix it- Spirit airlines was not so supportive of my fix. Now I am known as THE UNFLAPPABLE woman but I flapped this weekend y'all. But in each action God was showing me that I needed to be right where I was. My plan would not have allowed me to help my daughter move into her dorm and take her grocery shopping and realize that even as a Junior she was still nervous. My plan did not have an impromptu visit with my family. My plan would have left another dear friend worried and frantic about her child's safety while she dropped her oldest child off at school. I could not see God was positioning in places where only I could make a difference. And then I realized that my frantic efforts to be elsewhere all weekend were more pride than anything! My truth was that I wanted to be there more so to stop people from saying that I was not there than to serve. Pride is a sneaky thing it will show up as light when it is surely to trip you up so that you fall! See it's kinda the norm for me not to show up, you can depend on me about 75% of the time to be where I say I am going to be and this weekend was part of my reformation to be where I say I am going to be so it was all about my plan more than anything else #thatsthetruth . I went to sleep on Matthew 6:33 with the awareness that I had not put God first in my planning. So to everyone who I was connected to my insanity these past few days, some were blessed, some let down, some simply unaware of any of this Thank You for being a part of my lesson. You enjoy your Sunday, I am going to breathe this crook out of my neck! #pridebeforethefall#Godknowsourintention #thankfulfortheblessinginthelesson